Why I built this website
A reflection on digital residency, the struggle with perfection, and the decision to finally build a home.
I don't remember exactly when the thought of building a website popped up in my mind. It wasn't as if I didn't have a digital presence. In fact, I have been present on digital media for a long time.
I remember opening my account on Orkut way back in 2005 or 2006 (I was in school then, and I 'mistakenly' entered my age as above 18 😄). Then I wrote my first blog on Blogger in 2007. I was still in school then.
I uploaded my first YouTube video, probably in 2010 or may be 2011, playing a Hindi song on my guitar. Then came Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and these days, primarily Instagram.
Most of my presence has been limited to sharing fragments. It was by accident that I realized I liked clicking photos. My dad bought me a camera when I was pursuing engineering, and my love for photography flourished, alongside my misadventures (😄) in video making.
Writing, on the other hand, was actually a natural extension of my thought process. I used to pen my thoughts when I felt the clutter was too much to process. I didn't keep count of the photos—there were too many. But I did count my write-ups once: the number was around 150.
So, a "need-to-express" was never really the reason. I have been expressing anyway. It wasn't a desire to create a digital monument either.
That said, I vaguely remember thinking: "Hey! I should have one place where all the content I have created is available in one repository, and I should be able to decide the flow, the narrative, and the aesthetics."
My initial reaction to this thought was that of skepticism. Partly because it made me feel like a control freak insecure about his narrative and partly because building from scratch felt overwhelming. So, I kept procrastinating until the switch somehow flipped.
But that journey wasn't easy. I went through several iterations of design, content, and structure. I wrote a lot, and then erased it all.
Until very recently, I used to brush all this frustration under the rug of "writer's block," but then I realized I had to gather some courage to accept the fact that I was over-obsessed with perfection to the degree of intellectual paralysis.
I was somehow not okay with something that was simple. I used to feel that complexity was the ultimate sophistication. Well, it may or may not be. One thing I know is that it doesn't help you build your website.
One fine late night, I sat down with a question and a decision.
Question: Why do I want to build a website?
Decision: The answer to this question will be the first page of my website.
So, here it is: my website. I will be posting more content for sure. If I forget, feel free to ping me to remind me that it has been days since I last updated my home.